Number Seven: Balloon extravaganza

If you're going to do this, please make sure your significant other isn't going anywhere anytime soon, or it'll be more of a pain in the ass than a romantic gesture.


Buy a few bags of balloons. Blow them all up. Drawing from #s 5 & 6, you can either write poems on some of them, or things you like about the person, or if you want to make it so the person can keep these, write them on slips of paper and put them in the balloons. Then stuff their car full.

Or perhaps their bedroom closet, that's less likely to be a pain if they're needing to drive somewhere and don't have time to go thru a hundred balloons.

Number Six: Let me count the ways...

I did this for my third wedding anniversary. Three years is 1095 days, or 156 weeks. So I cut out 1095 paper hearts, and on 156 of them I wrote reasons why I liked & loved my husband, or things that I appreciated about him. (Yes, it took a while to come up with all of these, and some of them were pretty silly.)

I then stuck the 156 hearts all over the walls of the entryway, and hung and scattered the rest of the 1095 hearts all over the house. I started putting them up after he left for work, so when he got home it was a total surprise. It looked like a giant had emptied a bag of heart-shaped confetti into our house. He still has the 156 hearts that have the things written on them. :)

Number Five: Poetry!

Something I'll never forget - when I was a kid, my mom would write little poems and put them in my lunchbox. That kind of touch is something your significant other will remember for a long time.

You don't have to be a wonderful poet to do this, but if you're having trouble creating some verse, borrowing some from the masters isn't a bad thing. Go to the library and look for some poems that strike a chord for you. Song lyrics can work well, too. Copy them, go home, and write them on little slips of paper, and stash them places. The toothbrush or bathroom mirror, so they'll see it first thing in the morning. Inside the purse or wallet; they'll find it sooner or later. In the gas cap of the car; they'll see it when they next fill up. In the checkbook, they'll see it next time they write a check. You get the idea.

Number Four: Planning it yourself

Now guys, here's a bit of advice. If you're going to take your wife out to dinner, don't ask her to make reservations or baby sitting arrangements, and think that it's romantic. If your wife is stressed out with the amount of responsibilities she's dealing with (work, school, family, home) most women will feel this is just an added chore. Make the arrangements yourself. Call her up and say "Hi, sweetie! Your mother is taking the kids for a couple of hours and I'm taking you out. I'll pick you up in 20 minutes!"

Ladies, an FYI

And this goes for guys, too, altho they typically don't have this problem.


Ladies, if you want something, ASK FOR IT.

Despite all the romantic stories we've been fed, men are not mind readers, and will not know exactly how to touch you or that you are grumpy because he left his hair shavings in the sink again or whatever. If you want more romance in your life, tell him!

And the next thing we should be working on - I know we all like to be surprised. I know that a lot of you feel like your significant other should know what you like enough to surprise you with something sweet and sappy. I know that we're programmed to think that the romance comes from your significant other doing something unexpected that he/she knows you'll like. But you know, everybody's life would be much happier if we adjusted our brains to think of it this way: it's romantic that your signifcant other is willing to do it for you. Let's not give them too hard a hard time about not coming up with it themselves, and appreciate the fact that your significant other loves you enough to take the time to do something that will make you happy.

Number Three: Halloween jack-o-lantern

For Halloween, you can carve a pumpkin with some sort of message ("I love you" or "no trick, you're a treat" or something equally sappy or goofy) and put it on the bed to surprise your significant other when they get home/go to sleep/whatever. Fill it with some sort of treat they like - favorite candy, CD of favorite artist... for an erotic twist, fill it with edible body paint or stuff like chocolate syrup, whipped cream, etc. (I don't mean fill it with LOOSE chocolate syrup, I mean a bottle, okay? Otherwise this gets way too messy.)

Number Two: Taskmaster taking charge

Women's brains as a general rule work a little differently than men's. I've heard it described as the hunter vs. gatherer mindset: hunters focus on one thing, gatherers have to keep their eyes open for anything and everything that might be useful or edible. I don't think it's quite that simple, but this blog is going to use basic stereotypes because there is frequently a grain of truth in them.


A guy may be making love to his woman, and thinking about nothing else - but the woman may have thirty other things in her head. Men, don't think this means she's not interested in the wonderful things you're doing with your tongue; it's just sometimes hard to tune the rest of the voices out. You're having fun, and so are we... when our brain doesn't get hijacked by the train of thought that runs along tracks like this: "gotta do the dishes... oh, and take the trash out... and sew that button back on my dress slacks... and sign the kids' permission slips... and did I remember to pay the phone bill?... I hope my elderly parents are doing okay... I need to go by there and fix their bathroom... I saw a grey hair today... when is that project due?... I can't BELIEVE the president said something that stupid today..."

You get the idea.


SO - if your wife (I'm just going to use the words wife/husband for my ease, dangit.) has been asking you to fix that leaky faucet, or call about the moles in the yard, or whatever, surprise her by doing it, putting a bow on it, and then telling her it's done. That's one thing she won't have running through her head. Surprise her by taking care of a bunch of little stuff that needs to be done that she usually does - clean the house, or fold laundry, or whatever. It's much easier to get your woman in the mood when she's not having to tune out the nagging responsibilities that require her attention.

Number One: Rosepetal bed massage

Had a conversation tonight where this popped into my head, so I figured I'd go ahead and put it up.

When your significant other gets home, surprise her with the bed covered in rose petals (or whatever flower she likes; rose petals are just big and soft and somewhat resilient. If you get tea roses, they'll even smell nice). Help her take her clothes off, brush her hair (preferably with a natural bristle brush), and lay her down on the bed. Give her a full body massage, with nice smelling lotion or oil (unless she doesn't like that kind of thing), making sure not to concentrate exclusively on erogenous zones. Then fluff the clean sheet over her, tuck her in, and put her to sleep. (A nice added touch - read to her, or sing to her, or if you can play an instrument - something soothing.)

Unless she initiates sex, don't do it! I have to tell you guys something: I've not yet met a woman who didn't have this thought go through their head at least once, even if subconsciously: "You're just doing this so you can get laid." If you can do something this intense without managing to jump her, then if she doesn't realize how much you care about her, she's a moron.

BTW, some women might be so insecure that they think you NOT jumping them means you don't find them attractive or something. Take them to a counselor.

Welcome!

After having similar conversations with three guy friends, I decided to start this blog. I'm sure there are many out there like it. But hey, this'll be a place for me to write down some of my ideas so that hopefully I won't forget them, and might even use them myself.

This blog is a collection of romantic ideas for the romance challenged individual. These ideas are things that strike ME as romantic; no guarantees that you or your significant other will agree. Anybody out there want to add to the list, let me know, and I'll give you posting privileges.